Marriage Programs Boost Community at St. Philip's

By ANNAMARIA ANDRIOTIS

For the past two years, St. Philip Neri Church in Bedford Park has served as the only church in the Bronx where couples can receive guided counselling --  regardless of religious orientation --  to focus on strengthening marital and family relations.

"The program brings you closer to your spouse and closer to the church," said Madeline Saint-Cyr, who attended a St. Philip seminar with her fiancé, Clifford Saint-Cyr, prior to getting married. "It helped us focus on what really matters in a marriage -  the two of us and God."

The Saint-Cyrs are just one of the many couples who credit St. Philip's family life programming for strengthening their relationships. "These services are very important to the Bronx," said Grand Concourse resident Vera Galeas, who serves as pastoral associate at the church. 

Galeas and her husband, Jose, helped St. Philip's new pastor, Father John Bonnici, establish the program back in 2002. The services continue to expand, and are now offered in English and Spanish throughout the week. 

Prior to the program's availability, local couples were referred to similar services in larger settings within the Bronx. "I've always wanted to see how effective the family life programs would be on a local scale," said Bonnici, 39.

Salvatore DeStefano, a seminarian who has spent the past two summers at the church, thinks the small setting has really made the difference.  "We have a good lay involvement and a perfect balance between religious leaders and couples who lead the program," DeStefano said. 

The church offers a variety of seminars for both before and after marriage. "My fiancé and I particularly liked the exercises where we closely worked with one another to better learn our likes and dislikes," said Saint-Cyr, a former Mosholu Parkway resident, who commuted from Queens for the program.

St. Philip's also offers parenting classes, which meet tover a six-week period, to promote positive discipline and address communication issues. After the classes conclude, Galeas holds monthly follow-up meetings with the parents. "The programs are based on families' needs," Galeas said.

The church also addresses teen issues, offering abstinence programs with the goal of educating adolescents on STDs and AIDS, hormonal changes, and sexual encounters. 

Galeas directed similar programs at churches in Queens, Manhattan, and Westchester, and she believes that most family problems are based on a lack of communication. "Inner-city families suffer from communication problems because they can hardly survive due to their housing problems and long working hours," she said. "After long, tiring days, the couple tends to not communicate much and the relationship begins to strain."

Bonnici thinks the programs have benefited the church as well. "They create opportunities for the people to experience the church's teachings in tangible ways," said Bonnici, who came to St. Philip's in 2002. 

Bonnici directed the Archdiocese Family Life Office, where he met Galeas, from 1994 to 2002. His credentials include five years of theology study in Rome, a doctorate from John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Washington, D.C, and an appointment by Governor Pataki to CUNY's Board of Trustees. 

When Cardinal Edward Egan offered Bonnici the position at St. Philip's, he immediately accepted. "I knew this church was a great opportunity for me to exercise my priesthood," Bonnici said. "The people and the neighborhood are very welcoming." 

Bonnici believes that the family life programming has furthered St. Philip's welcoming spirit.

"The programs have helped to unify the people with each other and with the church," he said. "There is an energy here that is contagious."

Ed. note: For more information and dates for Marriage Preparation sessions, call (718) 733-3200.

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